The TRUTH! June 28th

We just decided to walk to where Walter said the church would be. On our way we ran into some Elders! They weren’t even serving here in our part of town! Apparently there was a big conference here for all of the missionaries serving Cusco with a General Authority. They gave us directions to both of the churches and off we went. One of the Elders was from Sandy, Utah named Elder Palmer and the other missionary was from Trujillo, Peru named something like Chugara or something? {I obviously was paying more attention to the one who could speak English!} We made our way to the first church where we met some Sister missionaries who told us that meetings started at 10 in the morning and they gave us a Spanish Book of Mormon! Rach and I were so proud, so emotional, so happy. We must be doing something right when our only goal of the day was to find the Elders and it happened! We made a trip to the other church and walked inside but it was under construction so that was a little bit disappointing but I cannot tell you how grateful I feel that our church is universal. It doesn’t change from place to place-sure, the customs and people change but our religion is constant. Yo se que Dios vive. La Iglesia es la verdadera!

Learning and Growing, June 28th Part 1

Today has been such a great day. I feel so at peace here. I look around at all of the architecture and scenery and I can’t help but fall in love with Cusco again. I don’t feel like I am a changed person BUT I can say that this has been a life changing experience. I love all of the music playing throughout the streets-a mix of Peruvian music and American. I love how friendly the people are here. I love how cheap it is here. I love that I am not only learning more about Peru each day but also learning more about Rachel and myself as well. I have loved being here because I feel so happy. I have never laughed so hard with anybody else at the dumbest things ever. I have never felt this accepted by a group of people that I am just getting to know. It’s amazing to me how people come into our lives so we can learn more about ourselves. Today in Spanish class, Walter was being the best teacher ever and reminding us of some vocabulary words for vegetables. He started to write them on the board when Rachel whipped out a book her friend Josh gave her to help her learn more Spanish. He asked where she had gotten this book at Rachel told him her friend gave it to her and he asked if he was Mexican or something. We then explained to him that Josh served a 2 year mission in Georgia. He then got excited because he remembered that Rach’s boyfriend Steven is serving a mission right now. He asked us if we practiced the same religion as the boys and we replied “yes.” He then asked us what the name of our church was-I struggled a little bit but then I remembered my dad practicing it with Bryant before he left so I spit out, “La Iglesia de Jesucristo de los santos de los ultimos dias!” He knew exactly what we were talking about. We tried to describe what Elders look like and asked if he had seen any-he said he knew of the “Mormons” and thought he had seen the missionaries before. He also was able to mention “James Smith or something.” He asked if we wanted his opinion but I quickly replied “no” so the moment would not be ruined. Of course we were able to tell him his name was Joseph Smith and he immediately told us where a church was. He described the architecture of the steeple and everything. In that moment I could not have been happier. THIS IS GOD’S WORK. Rach and I are now planning to get a Spanish Book of Mormon for Walter to give to him when we leave. I love this experience of my life-this is my mini “moving away/mission” moment and I could not be more grateful for these opportunities I am having. 

this one's for my #1 fan club..

Wanted. Monday, June 27th

Today was a very chill day. We woke up and went to Spanish class where we of course fell in love with Walter again. The “devil” was there as well to give us our fact of the day. Today we tried to explain to Walter was “tickling” was. He admitted to being very ticklish with the cutest boyish grin I have ever seen a 62 year old man wear. We had a tea break also, luckily there were crackers to help the nasty taste. After class we bought some post cards and then came home to having lunch cooked and ready. It was delicious-our mamita cooked us some oatmeal soup-it was delicious, I could not even tell it was oatmeal-and some chinese food stuff. It was the best I have eaten here. Our mamita told us we will be getting some new roommates on Thursday, and they are boyfriend and girlfriend haha. Interesting, right? After lunch we hung out and then went to the black market where everything is seriously SO cheap. We are going back pronto. Then we ran to the post office and then to the supermarket to get some food storage (aka so we don’t starve before bed). We came back home then went to the orphanage. I brought some puzzles, coloring books, crayons, and card games from back home for the girls. Watching all of these girls ranging from 6 to 17 made me realize how blessed we are to live in the U.S. All of the girls were like ravenous wolves trying to get at what I had brought. I also talked to a few of them about the orphanage, etc. Listening to their stories made me so grateful for my mom and dad. I feel blessed to know that my parents want me and love me always. So far on this trip I have done pretty good without being homesick but today I seemed to be much more emotional when thinking about my family. I miss them a lot and it’s only been 9 days. I just love my family so much and feel so blessed to be raised by two of the most amazing people that exist on the planet! 

Tour day 2, Sunday June 26th

Today began totally different than yesterday.  We had to be up and out of the house by 8 for the next day of tours. There was a lot more time spent driving but also a lot more time spent walking and hiking up mountains to look at the ruinas as well.  We also had a different tour guide for our English tour and it turned out to be much better. It was funny though because he would say, “Please more again give me your attention.” I kid you not, he said it at least 7 times and each time I thought he was saying my name over and over-more again..haha. The ruins were seriously so beautiful though. We learned the coolest things and the neatest thing happened too. As we were on the bus driving to a ruin, Rachel was looking out the window and she saw an LDS church-we seriously got so excited. It was funny to see it though because it was much nicer than I thought it would be. It was a two-story building with a big, white steeple. To add the excitement, we then saw the Elders! Rach and I started going crazy and waving at them like they were the coolest people ever. I even got emotional seeing them with little kids hanging all over them as they try to walk down the streets. This truly is the Lord’s work. It made me grateful to have Bryant out there serving, even if it is a huge sacrifice and I haven’t heard from him in 13 days (no, I am not bitter…). Anyways, we didn’t make it back home til like 7:30 or so and we skyped rach’s family and I set up an account for my dad and told him the password so he could skype too J I cannot wait til we go to church this upcoming week and experience more of the culture here. 

Tour Day 1, Saturday June 25th

Today started off very chill-we were able to wake up when we needed to and then finally got up and ready for our tour to start at one thirty. We got on a tour bus for our English tour, aka Spanish speaking men attempting to speak English.  The ruins that we saw were very pretty and of course there was a whole lot of walking. Good thing since I only eat bread here! Haha, okay not really but 2/3rds of the time-I do. After the tour we stopped at an Al Paca store where Rachel bought a jacket made of straight up BABY ALPACA. That’s right-if you don’t know what that is, let me educate you. Basically, when the Al Paca gets it’s first hair cut, that’s baby al paca. Crazy, I know.  After our tour we had a girls night with the other girls here from our same volunteer organization.  First we went and bought some desserts and then we watched Take the Lead with Spanish subtitles. It was great fun. It’s nice to have a little bit of America in Peru. 

Party hardy! Friday, June 24th

Day 4-fri 24

Today we woke up early for an annual festival that is an all day event in cusco. The festival is called Inti Raymi-festival of sun (in Quechua).  Basically they started off in a placed called Qoricancha where there are hundreds of peruanos dressed in different native attire and pretty much have a dance/play performance for everyone around. After this the performers relocate to plaza de armas a few blocks over for more dancing and singing.  Finally the dancers end up in Sacsaywaman, where the play ends and they sacrifice a llama. Anyways, we made it to qoricancha but unfortunately there were a bazillion people there so it was really hard to see anything. Then we went to Plaza de Armas but since the performance was taking forever to begin we decided to hike up to Sacsaywaman to try to get some good seats. Let’s just say I wanted to die. The hike is so hard! There is a part in town were you have to climb 110 steep steps before walking uphill the rest of the way. High altitude + out of shape + way too long of a hike=me doubled over thinking I was literally going to die.  To make matters worse I got to be a first hand witness of little Peruvian women in high heels with babies tied onto their backs hike up the mountain with great ease.  At one point a little old Peruvian man turned to me and said, “Esta bien?” Am I ok? Let me think about that for a second…NO. Literally. Anyways, we got to the performance 2 to 3 hours early for our seats on the hill. We just sat on the hill waiting for the stuff to start. Scariest thing of my life happened—we were sitting on the grass when all of the sudden Rachel looks at my leg and jumps up and screams. I look down to see a huge spider on my pants. It was HUGE. (not tarantula big but definitely the size of at least a half dollar) it was so scary. But then it got boring just waiting for everything to begin again. I started getting really annoyed with how close Peruvian people sit next to you. Seriously, they have no concept of personal space. What was really funny was that when the performance finally started there would be people standing up blocking people’s views so the Peruvian people would yell, “sientense!” and chuck rocks and food at them until they sat down. Hilarious, I tell you. The best part of the performance was the sacrificing of the llama so we waited until that part then started our journey back down the mountain. We ate at a little restaurant and didn’t get home til about 7 or 8ish. It was an awesome time being able to be a part of such a special celebration. We were pretty tired so we stayed in for the night. Our host mom is so funny. She took in a chinese man for a few days so he could go to Inti Raymi. It was hilarious because he only really speaks chinese so maria elena would try to speak broken English to him so they could somewhat communicate. I wish I could have captured a picture to show his facial expressions. He would say something and then just pause with a huge, cheesy smile on his face and it was his cue for us to laugh. It was so funny to try to convince him to get a Facebook-he kept saying, “My master say study much books and articles, articles, articles. I no have time.” Now, just imagine this sentence coming out of a tiny chinese man’s mouth-it was precious and took so long to spit out since it was more like, “my my my my my master say he say say to study much books and and and articles articles articles.” Needless to say, it was hilarious.

Caution: Do not attempt to say the above stated quotes in a chinese accent. It may cause the wetting of the pants. The end.

Day of Laughs. June 23rd

today started out great-we got to our Spanish class and walter showed up a few minutes later. We had a great time learning and talking and what not. I love walter. He is so cute! Anyways, on our “tea break” with walter, the unnamed boy that works in the front office came out to give us some facts about cusco. Before school we had told our host mom that we would eat out at the plaza de armas. The boy (whose name I seriously cannot pronounce) brought up the plaza so I pointed in a direction and asked him if that was where it was located. Obviously I was way off base because he just laughed at me and then offered to walk me and rach to the plaza with walter. After class ended he took us to the plaza and became our tour guide for the day. We walked FOREVER. He took us all over the place showing us the difference between incan made walls and Spanish made walls to going down “piss alley.” Yes, you guessed that right-apparently everyone just pees in that street-at first I thought he was lying, but the smell spoke for itself. Gross. He then took us to a more “touristy” restaurant where he hit on the peruana waitress all afternoon. He called her “mi amor” and “Corazon” more times than I can even remember. We were so glad to hang out with him-he would tell us all of these stories about himself that were lies and we just laughed and laughed when we realized we would never know who he really is. There was even another girl who was listening to his stories and she all of the sudden spoke up saying, “okay I can’t take this anymore! I don’t believe anything you just said!” we died laughing at everything that was said-to the point of tears. After lunch he took us to the supermarket so we could buy some snacks since we pretty much starve to death every night. We then parted ways and went back home til we had work. Honestly, this sounds awful but rach and I were totally dreading going back to the orphanage for a few reasons. Number 1-the girls were so much older than we expected. Number 2-the girls seemed to only want to watch tv. Number 3-Rach and I didn’t really get to experience it together…etc. BUT, when we went back it went so much better than expected. Rach had apparently danced in her girl’s room the first night so of course when I get there my girls all wanted to dance. I taught English the first night so of course rachel’s girls all wanted to  learn English and teach Rachel some Spanish-so cute. Seriously. Anyways, it was great and I think I am already starting to get attached to my girls even though they aren’t super young or what I expected. They are very sweet and I love that even though they aren’t living in the best circumstances they are happy and loving just as Christ would be. 

Exploring. June 22nd

Today our mama took us around the city. She lives right next door to the university in cusco and probably within a 20 to 30 minute walk of everything else. There are a million taxis here-all of the drivers are insane. I think everytime we have gotten inside one my life is on the line. Luckily they can’t drive too fast because of traffic. Maria Elena took us to lunch with 4 other girls (all of which are from the U.S.  except one girl now is a Peruvian native). The lunch was different. It consisted of warm juice, soup with all kinds of meat chunks and vegetables, chicken, rice, and beets, and a small warm juice dessert after. After lunch we went to the market to buy more bread for dinner and breakfast the next day. As we were walking out a man asked if he could look in Maria Elena’s purse and she told him it was no problem. She showed him and he said that on the store camera he saw her shove contact lenses in her bag. She was furious-she went and found the ‘jefe’ (boss) and gave him a piece of her mind. In the markets down here, you are supposed to leave your (bigger) bags in little bins/shelves toward the front of the market to prevent from stealing. Talk about sketchy…haha. After the market Maria Elena took us to our Spanish class where we met our teacher, Walter. He is the cutest man ever. He is 62 and has the patience of a saint. He wears a little ‘newsies’ cap and has little wispy hairs that come out from underneath it. If rach and I start to laugh about something uncontrollably he laughs too.  Needless to say, we love him. We also met this boy that works in the front office of our Spanish class. He is originally from California so he speaks good English. He moved to peru in 2004 and has only gone back to the states to visit every year. Anyways, he is hilarious and such a womanizer. Rach and I still have no idea how to pronounce his name. As we left class tonight he gave us his card and said the funniest thing ever-“Maria Elena will be the angel on one of your shoulders and I will be the devil on your other.” We died laughing. People here haven’t really understood that we don’t drink-not just because we aren’t 21. The drinking age here is 18 and seriously it seems cusco finds a reason for partying and celebrating every day of the week. It has been so interesting here! We then went to the orphanage where Rachel and I were whisked away from each other with no explanation of what to do. We hung out in separate houses with different girls and it was somewhat awkward because most of the time the girls just wanted to watch telenovelas! I taught a few girls some English words-they were infatuated with my eyes and English. When I first walked in they said “what is your name?” in very broken English, so I replied, “me llamo morgan.” Instantly the girls were like “no no no! in English please!!!” it cracked me up. Once 9:20 hit we left the orphanage and came home ready to go to bed since we had to wake up for Spanish classes super early!

Slumber party! June 20th-21st

We finally made it to Lima by almost 11 pm. The Lima airport is so different from anything back at home. As we got off the plane we went through customs where I got my first passport stamp! So exciting, I know. We went and got our luggage which took FOREVER but eventually it came out. After we got our luggage we went to go check in for our next flight to cusco that didn’t leave until 5 45 the next morning.  As we walked out into the open area it was the craziest experience-there were tons of people on either side of the entrance just waiting for people to come out. As I looked up at the balconies there were also a bazillion people-the experience of walking out into this crowd was like a miss America pageant! It was hilarious as people walked down the aisle and their loved ones popped out of the sea of people to hug and talk to them.  We then got checked in and hung out with a few people we met from our plane dilemma back home who were also flying to cusco. We found a space on the floor and all took naps for an hour. We then finally went through security and relocated to our gate and slept some more until our hour long flight to Cusco.

 After we got our luggage we went out of the airport to see a lady holding a sign with mine and rachel’s name on it. Little did we know she was going to be the sweetest host mom ever. She is so great, funny, spunky, and hardly speaks any English. It has been such a blessing to live with her to practice speaking Spanish and just being around her is so great. She is the best mom away from home! She calls me and racher “Mis bebes.” Because of our flight delay she let us come home and sleep all day until dinner time. The eating and food schedule here is so different. We eat bread and butter for breakfast and dinner—everyday. Lunch is the big meal here so basically by the end of the day we are starving again…it is not looking like my body will ever get used to this eating schedule! Also, another huge change from the U.S. is the toilet system. Basically no toilet paper can go down the toilet and can only be thrown into a trash can. Baby brother, you would never be able to live here because of your funny toilet traditions hahaha.  A lot of things are different but it’s so fun just to be here. 

Houston, we have a problem! June 19th

It all began on father’s day 2011. Rachel’s family picked me up and we were off to the air port. We stood outside to check our bags where the line was only about 7 people long. When we made it to the counter the man at the desk asked where we were headed to.. I replied “Houston to lima.” Of course his reply was that he couldn’t check in international flights but if the line was too long he’d see what he could do. We had gotten there in good timing only to find a HUGE line at the check in counter. Seriously the line had at least 100 people and it was moving at the rate of a snail. Rach & I debated about what we should do. She decided she would stay with our stuff and I could go out and ask if he would check us in. I went outside and waited in line til he noticed me. I finally said, “on a scale of 1-10, how bad do you not want to check us in??” of course he let us come back outside to check us in. jamal…we love you-you will never understand what a blessing you were to 2 anxious, first time travelers. As he checked us in he teased us about our passport pictures and came up with nicknames for us-he was so great. 

Needless to say, we got to Houston with no problems.  Our plane got in around 2:55 which left us about an hour to get to our next flight to Lima. We got to the gate only to find a HUGE line (again…) Apparently the computers were down…awesome. 4 o clock rolls around and the dreaded announcement is made…”folks, our plane needs some mechanical work done and the part won’t get in until 7 o clock.” Sighs, moans, cursing, etc was all around. Conveniently a little Peruvian lady sat next to me and decided I looked like I could speak Spanish. At first, she was great company but then all she wanted to do was talk and I could barely understand anything she was saying! The next announcement was then made around 6 30-“ the part needed for the plane wont be in until midnight. We are going to give hotel vouchers for those who are not local.” Obviously, I was stressed out. It didn’t help that my little old lady friend was making me call all her family and explain the news because she didn’t know any English.  Once she realized we were going to a hotel she asked me if we could get a third bed so she could stay with us. Talk about having an insta-pet..she could hardly walk at 88 years old! Another announcement was then made around 8. “the part came in early and we can get you out of here at 10.” 10:30 came and finally they put us on the plane. After sitting there for 40 minutes or so they made an announcement over the intercom apologizing that they needed us off of the plane because the crew had been awake too long. We finally went to the hotel and were told to come back the next morning by 9 :30 for an 11:30 flight which of course got delayed until 12:30 which then got delayed 3:50. What a way to start an adventure! 

one down..

i officially have gotten the gre out of the way. funny how now that i don't have a test to study for i find myself thinking about B. missing him a whole lot right now...

stay grounded!

i leave to PERU in 4 days...that's right, 4 days! i am BEYOND excited, and a little bit nervous too. i seriously cannot wait-it's going to be an amazing experience for me. i keep feeling ready to take off and leave to get outta this fiery inferno, aka arizona but i only have ONE thing holding me back...the gre {cue the dun dun duuuuunnnnn's}! tomorrow i take the test of a life time to help determine if i can apply for physical therapy school and even though i say i am so nervous i feel at peace. maybe bryant going on a mission is going to bless me too? haha.

if you know me, you know that if i were to say that there's always next year to apply to PT school it's like shredding my heart into itty bitty pieces. i am determined to do well and do the best i can.  a few weeks ago i saw my "saving grace." she said she had been reading an article before i got there and she knew i needed to hear what it was about. she said, "morgan, life isn't about our accomplishments, it's about finding joy in our own personal journey." can i just tell you that this statement has changed my life? it was so simple but that statement had never 'clicked' for me before. i think this is why i feel at peace about the gre. yes i am going to do my best. no, i do not want to have to wait a whole year to apply again. BUT, the worst that can happen is that i have to try, try again and reapply next year. life will not be over!! oh the simple joys that are FINALLY making sense at age 20! i am going to keep putting out there that i am going to do well. i am going to stay calm. i can do this. i have worked hard to get to this point in my life and i am going to be just fine!

life is busy and crazy but honestly, i wouldn't want it any other way! distractions are the key! i can't wait for peru-i am so excited to go with my friend rachel! seriously, it's crazy how small the world is and i am so happy that it is because i feel blessed to be able to be around rach and all of their group of friends. they have been so good to me!!

prayers are welcome. love,

morgs :)

7 minutes of heaven.

you know on the movie 13 going on 30 where they lock people in the closet to play that game '7 minutes of heaven'...? {at least i think that's what it's called}. if it's not, just ignore it. anyways the point is, i got to talk to my B for 7 minutes today. the shortest 7 minutes of my life BUT how much can you say to someone who is leaving to the MTC in less than an hour and it seems like it's already been a week since you've seen him? all i could get out of my mouth was how much i love him. seriously..i am one of THOSE girls. i loved hearing his voice and i felt strangely comforted today. i know he is in the right place and i am so grateful for the choices he is making. i won't lie, i definitely shed some tears, got choked up and emotional, etc but it was like he knew just what to say to me to make me feel better. as he got off the phone and i told him goodbye he replied "bye, until my p-day!" honestly, just what i needed to hear. i am such a "doomsday" type of person. aka, the end of the world is coming because 2 years seems like ages. sometimes i get upset, i get emotional, i cry. i'm a girl, okay? 

anyways, the point to this post is that i love bryant. yeah, he's only been in the mtc for a few hours but he's my best friend and no one can fill that void. he means more to me than anyone else in this world. i honestly believe that each of us could end up with so many different people based on compatibility and on the choices we make in this life, but i can also honestly say that there is no one more perfect for me and i would be so blessed to end up with him by my side. so as i sit here and think about how much i miss him, i look forward to how much he will grow (and for my first letter! haha). life is great. sometimes i just have to keep telling myself that so i can keep moving forward and continue to find myself. 

miss you best friend. love you forever & always,

morgs

mirror, mirror...

one of the things i love about my bryant is that he is so willing to do anything for anybody. he is seriously the most helpful human being on the planet. if you ask, you will receive. seriously. he's totally like the guy wesley on princess bride that says "as you wish" to every command/request of the princess. BUT, as great as this gift is, it can also be a curse. sometimes it gets to the point where he is doing things for other people just because he feels guilty. he doesn't want to let anyone down and he tries so hard to make everyone happy. he even does things for other people that he has absolutely NO desire to do because he doesn't want them to be upset at him. sometimes when this happens i get crazy upset. i basically have to give him an occasional pep talk (actually...it probably is more of a lecture...haha) about how he still needs to be his own person and he can't let everyone boss him around! i get very stern when it comes to this matter with him because he just wants to please everyone and then he forgets about himself and after all, this life is about finding out who we are individually, being tested and tried, and returning home to our Heavenly Father.

anyways, the moral of the story is that i get so worked up over this "people pleasing" ability that bryant has when it gets to that point of doing things out of guilt. as i thought about it i realized i am such a hypocrite! time to take a look in the mirror, morgan! as i have gone through my life i have always been the type to be very hard on myself {if you know me you are OBVIOUSLY shaking your head and thinking "no kidding!"}. i have a very strong personality and i have a really hard time even controlling it when i make judgments about myself. if i wasn't getting straight a's in school, i was a failure. if my family told me i was moody, i failed. if i missed my psych 101 class one time and missed the only 2 offered extra credit points, i obsessed over it for weeks {apparently i am still not over it!}. the point is, my whole life i have always lived it in fear of not only letting everyone else down but letting myself down.

here i am at age 20-i am in school and graduating a year early in may 2012. i take my GRE on friday of this week so that i can apply to PT (physical therapy) schools by this fall. meanwhile i need to study and my mind happens to be caught up on a boy in utah AND i leave to peru on sunday. on top of this i work part time with special needs kids. i have done this for almost three years and i have been having a really hard time with this transition in my life. the one where i need to start focusing on myself to get into PT school when i cannot say "no" for the life of me. it has gotten to the point where people will ask me to work and i will move my other plans around just so i can "fit it in." i feel like i am letting everyone down if i can't do it. i won't lie, it gets really stressful. i definitely learned this from my mother who has a hard time with the "n" word as well... anyways, i have just really had a hard time with this concept and i have found that i am just as guilty as bryant when it comes to people pleasing.

someone call people pleasing anonymous and GET ME IN. also, pray that i do well on this GRE on friday. ask for all of the vocabulary, math, and writing angels will be sent down for me to do well haha--you think i am kidding? i am not. okay, that is all for today.

xoxo,

morgs

dreaming.

i went to bed last night hoping it was just a dream. i can't believe how fast it came. never in a million years did i ever think that it would be this hard. nor did i think i would have to send him off 4 days earlier than i thought i was going to. today i woke up to my dad telling me i had a visitor...i asked him what time it was, his reply, "6:40." instantly i started to grumble as my much needed beauty sleep was interrupted.  i then looked up to see my visitor. it definitely had to be a dream. hello, elder king-didn't think i would be seeing you for approximately another two years...he came in bringing me a scrapbook that i had made him for valentine's day a few years ago and told me he wanted me to hold onto it. all the meanwhile i am laying in my bed as he hands me the book i remember working so hard on. i could not believe i got to see him one last time. he bent down and gave me one last hug (a missionary one, of course) and walked out my door. i laid in bed waiting to hear my front door open up and listen to him leave. it took a little bit longer than i expected but eventually the chimes came from the alarm system and he was gone. my dad came back to my room a few minutes later, he was a little choked up. he said bry got emotional and shed a few tears as he left my room. i love him so much, more than i ever thought i could love another person. 

i am so blessed bry was sent into my life. he was truly an answer to my prayers. when i was around the age of 15 i was OBSESSED with the idea of who i was supposed to become. i wanted to know what i was going to be and especially who i was going to marry. i remember distinctly being in the passenger seat of the car and thinking and wishing that Heavenly Father had sent me down with a little piece of paper with my future spouse's name on it so all i would do was have to find him. i prayed and prayed that i would find the person i should marry asap, i just wanted to know him. as the years went on i started to realize that we weren't designed to find just one person and marry them but rather we were meant to be compatible with many people and we have the freedom to choose who we want to be with forever.

almost three years ago (in august 2008, i was 17 at the time) i went to church just like any other day. i sat through sacrament meeting then went to sunday school where my dad was the teacher. our class had probably about 7-10 kids and as we all got into the room we all started chatting about our weekends and all of our exciting events.  all of the sudden, the door opened and this big, brown boy walked in. he announced he was new and of course i jumped at the opportunity placed in front of me. i obnoxiously told him he could come sit by me and of course, he did. as the weeks went on he would come to church sometimes and miss other times. there was a week where i sat on the same row as him and his mom and i could not stop staring at him (pretty much i blew my cover really early on..). i saw him around school a few times and was determined to get to know him. one day another boy in our ward text me to ask if i had bryant's phone number. i didn't have it but i knew he played baseball and i knew some players so of course i found my opportunity to get even more creepy. excellent. i got his number the night before october break and texted him. he kept asking who it was & of course i kept him guessing. he finally called me since he thought i was one of his guy friends and figured out it was me. the next morning i headed off to mexico for the long weekend. i text him on my way back and from there we just started talking more and by the end of the month we were officially "together." 

after dating from october of our senior year we were pretty much inseparable. i got into asu and bry still wanted to play baseball so he went to school down in douglas, az. it was really hard being away from him for that year even though i got to see him at his games up around the valley and could text/skype him occasionally. we've definitely had our ups and downs but bryant came home from school and decided to become the best man he could be. he has been the best example to me and my family. he is definitely my dream come true. 

xoxo,

morgs

it's for reals.

just got back from bry's setting apart-what a wonderful missionary he is going to make! he is so blessed and loved and cannot wait to get out into the field. i finally know how it feels to defy the inevitable AKA live with my heart beating outside my body. as beautiful and wonderful and proud as i am tonight i just want to be sad and hurt and cry. i know that so many blessings will come from this and know that i am so lucky to have such an amazing man in my life. this is all i can write for now as i cannot fully see my computer screen.

sincerely,

me, the big cry baby

p.s. handshakes suck. 

p.p.s. no i did not get the "infamous" hand-shaking picture, who ever invented that pose...why i otta...

surreal.

isn't it crazy how time is such an oxymoron? about 4 months ago the end of the beginning seemed to be no where in sight. it seemed like an eternity. it got frustrating, annoying, even somewhat painful. i can't believe the time has finally come. at the beginning of february this guy got his mission call. it was such a rush of emotions-i was so excited for him to go and do the work. when he read his call i remember hearing "argentina" come out of his mouth and being so happy until it was suddenly followed by "june 15th." all i could think was "is this for reals? you aren't leaving for 4 months?! you are going to be here my WHOLE semester?!!?" it was actually a painful thing for me-i was ready for the band aid to be ripped off then and there but to my surprise this would be the slowest ripping of a band aid EVERRRR.

time went by, some days felt like they drug on forever while others went by with a blink of the eye. a lot of the time i was preoccupied with school and work but it was nice to come home to find him here hanging out with the family at nights. as much as i wanted him to be gone already it was so nice and comforting to be with my best friend all the time.

in 2 days this boy will be set apart as a missionary. i am so proud of him-for who he is and what he has become. he is the most amazing boy i have ever met. AND he totally puts up with all of my hormonal and moody crap--BONUS!  he will be the best missionary ever! {i may or may not be a little bit biased:)} needless to say, i cannot believe the time is here for him to leave. i can't believe how hard it has actually hit me-for the past four months i was convinced i would just be happy for him to leave and get started and now that it's here...well, i can often be found shedding a tear or two.

i love him to pieces. never in a million years did i think i would be the girl that sends out a missionary (especially at 20 years old--aka while all of my friends are starting to almost get married haha). bryant lars, you are the best thing that has happened to me-i mean that with all of my heart. you mean more to me than you will ever know. we can talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and i am so grateful you were sent into my life. who knew that three years ago when you walked into my sunday school class would just be the beginning? i did. your grandpa is right, i do have a plan for you and i have since that day you walked into my life. i guess you could say i have an instinct for greatness :) {sorry for the endless sundays of staring at you, making you feel that i was stalking you, and then topping it off by getting your phone number to text and annoy you--look where it got us though! i guess i am not that sorry:)}

here's to the hardest two years of my life and the best of yours. i am grateful for the example you are setting for me and for brother. he loves you probably more than he loves me (you are too good to him). til 2013, right? love you forever and always.

xoxo,

morgs

irony.

today i decided to look back on my other posts-funny how i can forget things so quickly! it seems as though i had some "ah-ha" moments that hit me for a while then i went about life as it got crazy. the last few posts i have written may or may not be more depressing than previous posts i have written. it's sad to re read them but in all honesty i don't regret writing them. life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, and i want to be able to write on this blog knowing that my life isn't happy ALL the time. i have my ups & downs--trust me, people can confirm this. i'm only human. i am working on finding joy in the journey. it's hard to realize that happiness doesn't come tomorrow. it's hard to think that we are the controller of our own happiness. life is hard--but that's why we are here. my name is morgan alexis, and while sometimes i am emotional and moody, i am trying to figure out who i am as a person and what i want to become. this task alone can be a very emotional one. it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. bear with me people...

xoxo,

morgs

saving grace.

a lot has been going on in my life lately. between school ending, working, studying for the gre, getting ready to leave to peru, etc.. life has been stressful. this has probably been VERY apparent based on previous posts. sometimes life gets hard and i just don't know what to do with myself. i don't know whether i should stress about it, cry about it, ignore it, etc. it's so nice to be able to talk to somebody that just "gets it." someone who understands who i am as a person on the outside and inside. someone who doesn't judge and let's me be who i want to be. i am starting to feel relieved after today-i went and talked to my favorite person ever AKA debbie AKA my saving grace. can you say soul sisters/best friends forever? 

it's such a relief to leave her house after talking for an hour or so. dumb little things that mattered so much to me before seem to have less value. things make more sense. basically i just love debbie and that's all there is to this post. i am eternally grateful for her helping me make sense of the things that happen in my life. i would tell you that you should get to know her too BUT i think i just want to keep her for myself! haha...you think i'm kidding? i'm NOT! :)

love, morgs