almost 5.

On Tuesday of this week it will mark 5 months since Bryant has been on his mission. Time could not have gone by more slowly, but it feels like a dent has finally been made somewhat. I never wanted to be the girl that sits at home, cries, or counts down til the day the missionary comes home. At the beginning of this journey the Lord sent me a blessing in disguise. He sent Bryant off to the MTC 4 days before I left to Peru for a month. Never in a million years did I realize it was a blessing until I made it back home and realized how much I missed him. I look back and think about the day he opened his mission call. I was so bitter when I heard the date was 4 1/2 months in the future. I was sad, angry, and bugged that he was going to be around that long--never did I take the time to see the bright side of things. Now, I know why he didn't leave until then. I would have been even more of a hot mess, if that's even possible.

Bryant, I miss you. You truly are my best friend. I guess I somewhat throw the "best friend" term around but when it comes down to it, you're mine. I look back at our relationship and I love what he had. I love how I feel when I am around you. I want to be better. I love knowing that you actually care about me. I love the way I would catch you looking at me. I love that you are a big brother to my siblings. I love your big heart! What's there not to love about you? Someday I hope I can read back on these thoughts and feelings and know that all along I knew how my life would turn out. I would like to be able to think that I know what me and you had wasn't some high school fling. You are my everything. Grandpa J was right, I had a plan for you, and I still do. I love you, B.