all i want to do is write.

sometimes i sit in silence and just think. think about my life right now and where i am heading. think about who i am and who i want to be. this semester in school truly has been life changing for me. i have become closer with people in my major and it is sad to think this  really is my last semester being around them all. i sit here and think of everyone else's stories around me. two years ago, some of their situations were thought to turn out totally different. it scares me seeing things not go as planned. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing but sometimes it is hard to trust that His plan is the best plan when you think you have it all figured out for yourself. i have been thinking about B a whole lot these last two days. i just miss him. sometimes i close my eyes and pretend he's right by my side. sometimes that makes me feel a little bit better for a few minutes. i wish i didn't have to live off of old memories to keep going strong but sometimes that is all there is to hold onto. i compare situations that i am right now with others and i compare them to how different it would be if Bry was the one on the other end instead. he is so sweet to me. you know you truly have someone special when you look at what you had and know that he was perfect for you. yeah, we had our off days but when it comes down to it, we just go together. i know this, he knows this and hopefully in 19 months, we'll both know it too. oh life, why are you so complicated??