it has just been "one of those days." the kind where you can't get away from any thoughts in your mind and you think all day long. the kind where you miss the memories. the kind where you wish you were better at things in your life.
today, it's been four months since this guy has been on his mission. he is loving it more than i ever imagined he would. he is truly in the right place and as hard as that seems, i am so proud. he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. never in a million years did i ever think i would doubt that he may come home and not want me but let me tell you, satan works in magical ways. you see, it obviously hasn't been very long since he has been gone (that is, for everyone else but me) but my every thought seems to be consumed with questions. will he want me when he comes home? does he even care about me? do i even deserve something so great?
the answers to those questions will come in due time, i know they will. patience is a virtue and i definitely struggle with that. in my heart i know that i mean more to him than i let myself believe. i know that he is the most focused missionary in the field. i know that he will come home not having any regrets about giving his all out there because i know that is exactly what he is doing.
yeah, sometimes missing him consumes me but i know it's going to be worth it in the end. even after the countless tears and the loneliness i sometimes feel. this life is not just to be endured but rather to learn and grow along the way and even though the pain feels as though it's too much to bear, i know that i have a loving heavenly father who knows exactly how i am feeling and that is comforting to me.
I feel ya girl!! I have said those same things to myself... we need to be friends and have deep conversations about this :) haha.. And four months is a long time, you can do it! your amazing Morgan and even though I don't know you well I look up to you a lot!
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