honest.

i feel like sometimes i just get in a funk. i sit in a room full of people but feel so disconnected. i think about what i am doing with my life. who i am and who i want to be. life gets so frustrating at times. i am finally out of school and yet i find myself trying to replace the stress of school with other stresses. i try to be the best person i can be. i try to do what is right. some days i feel like an emotional baby ready to cry, other days i feel closed off wanting to just be left alone. i feel like i am the only person who hasn't changed but then i look back and realize how different i am.

today, in st. george, i went to my cousin's graduation-talk about bringing back the memories! it's been two years since i have graduated, i can't even believe it (yet i can since i feel like i have been so busy!). what an accomplishment it is to graduate-i am proud of my cousin! i remember feeling so accomplished yet feeling like this was the day my life would change. the world as i knew it was going to be gone. i remember sitting at graduation in the pouring rain and feeling like there were big things in store for me..what they were, i didn't know, but i knew i was going to do some pretty great things (or at least i convinced myself i was going to try).

flash forward two years and here i am sitting on my computer--acting like i blog. i've been through so much that i couldn't even fathom that day in the rain. who knew i would be where i am today? who knew college would actually be hard like people said it would? who knew i would only keep in touch with like 5 people from high school on a regular basis? f

it's days like this where i sit and think about these things and am so glad for the family that i have. the dad that puts secret "i love you" & "i miss you" notes in my suitcase. the mom that is always trying to make me happy. the sister that would drop everything she is doing to listen to me and do whatever she can to be there for me. the brother that is almost 14 years old who isn't embarrassed of hanging out with his older sister or telling me he loves me in public. my bryant that would go to the moon and back to do anything i ask. how did i get so lucky? i feel blessed, and privileged. and after thinking about all these things it makes me realize that life is worth it. it may be hard at times, it may be boring at times, and it definitely throws some major curve balls, but it's totally worth it.

{don't you love when everyone else in a cute picture looks cute except for yourself? awesome. maybe next time!}