I wish I could be anywhere; anywhere but here. I sit quietly in the physical therapy library, books and binders surround me. I feel enclosed by the bookshelves, there is no way to turn, no way to escape. My maroon scrubs clench onto the smell of cadaver and formaldehyde and as I sit and attempt to study, my nose is constantly reminded of where I just was.
I dreamed that I would be in California with my family, only to have too many obstacles prevent that from happening. Who once told me that growing up would be "fun?" They were incredibly wrong.
As I stare at my papers, books, and computer the words seem to separate themselves and disappear. Where are they going? If there is one thing I am certain of, they are not being absorbed in my head. For so long this was my dream-this was the one thing that I knew I wanted to do. I never thought it would be so difficult. I never realized that when I didn't perform like I did in undergrad, I would mentally break down and wonder and question, "Is this journey really the one for me?"
As I take a step back I look at the big picture. School is not who I am. School is helping me learn and grow into someone that I want to be. For this reason alone, I know that this is the journey for me. I will never be Morgan, the Physical Therapist--I will be Morgan, a woman who practices Physical Therapy. To some, this may sound complicated, confusing, and rather synonymous. Life isn't about my accomplishments, it's about finding joy in the journey-no matter how grey the weather can be-there is always sunshine amongst the dark clouds.
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