at a loss.

It's been just over 4 weeks since you've gone away to a better place.  A place that I can't even imagine: endless opportunities to serve and countless blessings to gain.  You were my hero and you always will be.  I've tried to pretend that it feels like you aren't really gone--like you are just vacationing somewhere for a while but you'll be back.  In a way, it's somewhat true.  I know I am going to see you again-I'm not too worried about that. You were my hero and still are.  You are a perfect example of service to others and as I look around at this world I know it was a better place because of you. I have been at a loss for words lately.  I don't know what to say about what has happened or even how to feel.  I experienced the coping ability to become numb to feelings which is good if you don't want to experience pain but at the same time it makes me feel detached from the world I live in.  Grandpa, I love you. When I first found out that you had cancer, I prayed and prayed that you would beat it.  I cried and hoped that you were strong enough.  As I grew up I found out you were very capable of doing that, but your body started to slow down.  For these past 4 years I cried because all I ever wanted was for you to be at my wedding.  I didn't want you missing.  I now know that you wouldn't miss it for the world.  I know you'll be there and you'll have a pretty darn good view.  But for now, I am at a loss of words and am grateful for the plan of salvation that allows me to be with you again one day. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my grandpa you'll be.