never easy.

there's never a "right time" for someone to go. when it does happen, there aren't very many words that can change the situation except for maybe feeling a little bit more happy about the life they lived. i feel proud to be a 'granddaughter' of Granny Johnson and i am glad that i was able to have the opportunity to do something as little as sing with the grandkids at the funeral to make her happy. recently i have had a few experiences that have helped me to realize how happy she is and it has made me feel at peace with the situation. of course, even feeling peaceful didn't hold the tears back long today. it was hard to be there without my bry but in my heart of hearts i KNOW he is where he is supposed to be. i KNOW that he feels comfort in knowing that he will see Granny again! i just want to write down my thoughts and feelings about today so that someday i can look back and remember how blessed and happy i feel to be part of the family.

it all started off early in the morning. we met and practiced the song once and then hung out during the viewing. aunt jan was adamant that we not look into any faces as we sang today-she knew it would bring on the water works and we all know that this is horrible for singing! we all got settled in the room with Granny where Matt gave the family prayer. i was so touched in every way as i listened to Matt's words and heard the emotion in his voice. Matt is not a big crier and up until that point there had not been a tear down his face.  as i opened my eyes i knew there was not a dry eye in the room. we moved into the chapel and the funeral began. we sang joseph smith's first prayer (b's favorite hymn) and i couldn't help but be moved. Jen said the opening prayer and then Mama King and her sister's gave the life story.  i loved being able to hear about Granny through her life. i have almost known Granny for three years and the only times i have known her are when she has been battling myositis and confined to a chair-it was refreshing to hear stories of her when she was free to do the things she wanted to such as cook, clean, and serve others. i cried through out the story and once Mama King started telling a specific story i couldn't help but choke the tears back.  she started off by talking about the days when Gran tried to get Grandpa J to go on a mission right after he had graduated high school. he didn't have the money and nor did his family and he was not going to allow anyone to pay for him to go so he just didn't see it happening. one night after Gran's high school dance they talked and talked til they realized she was three and a half hours late to her curfew. Mama King then said that recently she had another three and a half hour talk with another boy she knew who wasn't so sure about going on a mission and didn't know what to do in life but she sat that boy down and now he leaves in ten days to go to Argentina. {Granny and Grandpa were so good to my B. i feel blessed to know them} of course i cried like a little baby gasping for air and it seemed as though the rest of my Kings were crying just as hard.  after the talk the grandkids got up and sang our song. i made it about half way through and got to the song "families can be together forever" and i couldn't hold back the tears any longer. i had to take a little break and once i regained my composure i was okay to try singing again.  we made it through and then Todd spoke. he did a great job and related Granny's whistle to always making him want to do a little bit better. i love that.  Janis, Chanelle, and Celeste then sang 'Come thou Font' and it was great. the bishop gave the closing remarks and was a cute, little emotional man. you could tell he loves the Johnsons. we sang God Be With You Til We Meet Again and then prayed and went out into the foyer.  we talked to those who came namely my mom and dad, the Roberts, and Sean and Aryn. i felt blessed to see my family there and i am so glad that i have cousins who is related to me on both sides (ish) haha. i definitely got asked a thousand times over how i 'fit into the family' and of course i explained about my B. i truly feel like a grandchild of Granny and Grandpa J. they make a conscious effort to be with me and talk to me. we finally headed out to the cemetery and dedicated the grave. it was a HOT summer day that i will never forget.

Granny, you are a one of a kind woman. i feel blessed, loved, and peaceful in knowing you are in the happiest place ever. as hard as it has been i know it won't be too long til we see you again and i feel blessed to call you my guardian angel in heaven.