scars

i honestly don't even know how to begin this post. i keep writing and deleting then repeating the process 20 times over. it was just one of those days-one where you hurt for those around you, and you realize that the world is a much different place than you thought it would be. a day where you wish you could help everyone. a day where you look yourself in the mirror and reality hits-this is not who i am nor who i want to be. how did i get here? why did i let myself get to this point?

i wish i could look myself in the eyes and see what my Heavenly Father sees in me.

tomorrow i have a conference to go to for school and needed to do some quick shopping for a nice outfit. as i stood in that dressing room and looked at myself in the full-length mirror i wanted to cry. not because i want attention or to feel bad for myself, but because i have let myself get here. nothing hurts more than looking at yourself in the eye and knowing this is your fault.

there's always a new day tomorrow, only to see the scars to remind me of yesterday.