change.

sometimes i get really frustrated with myself. and by "sometimes" i mean a lot. people that know me would say that my personality is pretty intense. you could probably describe it with the letter "A." possibly?? (workin' on it..) i am a go-getter. i don't usually let things get in my way. a lot of times that intimidates people.

my mom told me that my little brother had a conversation with her the other day. as she was taking him to the dentist jackson said, "mom, you never really can know a person totally." my mom was kind of taken back by the depth of his statement. he kept going by saying things like, "i mean i know what your favorite color is, and what you like to eat and don't like to eat, but i don't know what you are thinking all of the time."

the conversation continued, i am sure. this was just a quick paraphrase to not only show how amazing a 13 year old boy is, but to show that no one can really know the whole value of a person. we don't know what others are thinking or feeling, even if we try to express it. it's hard to quite explain exactly what's going on in our brains and bodies.

a lot of people don't know about the inner struggles other people go through on a daily basis. my whole life i have felt not good enough from time to time. not because my parents ever made me feel like that but because i wished i could have done better. since i was young i have looked in the mirror and seen a chubby girl staring back at me. it's been a hard experience to deal with, especially this past year or so. (i am not looking for a pity party, it's just time to be for real). being an exercise and wellness major where every girl weighs 110 pounds is so intimidating and frustrating. it's like "hey my name's morgan, i have played sports and exercised my whole life even though it doesn't look like it."

it's been hard. it's been a battle. but, i am ready to be done with feeling like this. i want people to see me for who i am and what i want to become. i want to look at myself in the mirror and see the person that i feel i am. i need to be accountable for all of the emotional eating that i do. for the lack of self control. i wish people could judge people based on their heart and intentions; if this were the case the world would be a happier place.

i am ready for a change, ready to become the best ME!