A little bit of sunshine amongst dark clouds.

I wish I could be anywhere; anywhere but here. I sit quietly in the physical therapy library, books and binders surround me.  I feel enclosed by the bookshelves, there is no way to turn, no way to escape. My maroon scrubs clench onto the smell of cadaver and formaldehyde and as I sit and attempt to study, my nose is constantly reminded of where I just was.

I dreamed that I would be in California with my family, only to have too many obstacles prevent that from happening.  Who once told me that growing up would be "fun?"  They were incredibly wrong.

As I stare at my papers, books, and computer the words seem to separate themselves and disappear.  Where are they going? If there is one thing I am certain of, they are not being absorbed in my head.  For so long this was my dream-this was the one thing that I knew I wanted to do.  I never thought it would be so difficult.  I never realized that when I didn't perform like I did in undergrad, I would mentally break down and wonder and question, "Is this journey really the one for me?"

As I take a step back I look at the big picture.  School is not who I am.  School is helping me learn and grow into someone that I want to be.  For this reason alone, I know that this is the journey for me.  I will never be Morgan, the Physical Therapist--I will be Morgan, a woman who practices Physical Therapy.  To some, this may sound complicated, confusing, and rather synonymous.  Life isn't about my accomplishments, it's about finding joy in the journey-no matter how grey the weather can be-there is always sunshine amongst the dark clouds.

Time.

Time--a unit of measurement that defines how we spend our lives.  Questions and statements can be made on a daily basis in relation to time.

"Do I have time to run to the grocery store?" "Is there enough time to attend an event?" "It takes too much time to read my scriptures before bed or I don't have enough time to make my bed in the morning before school."

Everything we do as human beings in this day and age is securely fastened around schedules and time until something drastic occurs--the birth of a baby, the holy union of two friends, the loss of a loved one.  It's experiences like this in life that allow us to stop, smell the roses, and realize what is of true importance.  We are able to more clearly remember that this Earth life is but a small moment.

Personally, I cannot express the gratitude that I have for my family and friends.  For two weeks now I have officially been living on my own--I have come to realize the importance of progression in life and I understand that this is one of those steps.  Each day I think about my family-the love and support they provide, the comfort and peace that they bring, and the many laughs along the way.

The same question repeatedly goes through my head, "How did I get so lucky?"  Some day, I will be able to answer that.  Maybe I needed all the help I could get while here in this life (this seems like the most obvious answer)?  Maybe I could only learn the things I needed to with my own family?  It's a mystery, but what I do know is that families are forever.  There is no amount of time that could define the importance of my family.  I hope that every day they don't ever have to wonder about my feelings for them because if there is anything I am beyond sure about in this world of uncertainty, it is the love that I have for my family.

I thank JaKelle Westergard, though I didn't know her, she has helped me to remember this one most important truth about families.

 "I have a family here on earth, they are so good to me, I want to share my life with them for all eternity. Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan.  I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can, the Lord and shown me how I can."