ramblings of morgan alexis..

sometimes i just have a knot in my stomach and the only way it goes away is if i write my feelings down. since i have come back from peru i have truly felt like a different person. i like who i am now and i am going to work so hard to not go back to the snappy, mean morgan that lived in arizona before going to peru. i have felt so much more at ease with myself and have felt feelings that i didn't realize existed in my body-sometimes i just don't know what to do with myself. often i enjoy just bottling up my emotions and getting angry and upset and crying weeks down the road but i realized that it's just not very healthy for me. this post is really going to just be a jumble of things because as fast as an idea flies into my head another one follows it. tonight i am going swimming with a bunch of girls (hopefully) and i am having a small anxiety attack. i love who i am inside but it's time to change what is going on outside of me cause when i look in the mirror that's not who i want to be or how i feel. i have come to realize how sensitive of a person i really am and it's hard to push those feelings away or hide them somewhere else in my body. i let people hurt my feelings sometimes and i just don't say anything about it because i don't want to hurt others feelings by pointing it out. is that a good thing? i am not so sure but i do just feel sad sometimes when it happens. usually i would channel all of the sadness into anger but i don't have the energy or desire to do that anymore. i want to stay me and be happy and have confidence that people love me for who i am.