One of those days, July 7th

Today was a lot of fun-Maria Elena planned a party for tonight at our house where all of the A Broader View volunteers are coming for snacks, drinks, and dancing. Rach and I went to class as usual and had a bawl with Walter. The funniest thing happened today-we were learning a new tense and I asked a question about why it didn’t follow the guidelines he had given for the previous examples to which he replied, “Oh just forget about those rules right now.” And what choice words came out of my mouth? “Well that’s crappy.” Walter ended up hearing me mutter these words and said, “Crappy? What is crappy?” Rach and I could not stop laughing. It was hilarious. We tried to explain that it basically just meant “bad” and all of the sudden it was like a light switch went on and he said, “OH CRAPPY! That’s like seeing poops on the street! Dog poops!” I have never laughed so hard! It just makes me love Walter that much more! After class we went to Mega to buy some non-alcoholic drinks for the party tonight. It’s going to be an interesting night-I am so proud that Rach and I can be examples here. I feel proud to be different here. I had such a good day today until I went to the orphanage. We went early so we could be back for the party in time. We pretty much cracked a few eggs then went and walked around to hang out with some of the girls. After that we sat in the eating room while they all ate dinner. It was okay until one of the girls was just being way more obnoxious than usual. She was all over me and saying things to me that weren’t very nice. She decided it’d be funny to pinch my fat and then proceeded to call me “gorda” to which I replied, “thanks.” I guess I just felt like I was getting a new chance here. Like people wouldn’t look at me and call me fat. I guess it just hurt my heart. I told Rachel and shed a few tears but I need to bounce back for this party I guess. Things like this make me thankful for having Rachel here but miss Bryant too. For little girls who have nothing you’d think they’d be a lot less judgmental but I guess the world is just a sad place. A place where no one feels secure enough to be who they are so they have to make sure everyone else feels as inadequate as they do. Sometimes it’s hard to have such a big heart-I take everything so personally. I wish it were different at times but I know that when I have my own children I will never make them feel this way. I will never make them feel inadequate on purpose. Sometimes I wish people were different, but all I can do is continue to look for the good in people.